This lifted from Gareth Saunders’ Taking the Episcopalian (Scottish, that is).
Where on God’s earth do ecclesiastic outfitters dig up their models?! You know, those people employed to model cassocks, albs and the like for their catalogues?
All was not lost when the thurifer set fire to the sacristy carpet. The Mother’s Union used the remnant to fashion a new cassock for Fr Hugh. Very many thanks to John Lewis for spotting this one (source: F A Dumont, p.59). He writes “Have you seen the latest catalogue from F A Dumont? Laugh? I nearly sprinkled myself with holy water.”
Ha, ha, ha … gasp … ha, ha, ha … Quite so.